He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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