apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
