Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
