everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
