Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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