Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
