11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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