So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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