how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
