Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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