i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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