they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
