Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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