Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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