your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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