My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
