Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
