..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
