my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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