I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
