I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
