I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
