i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
