We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
