we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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