NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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