just survived the first fart of the relationship.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
