I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
