Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
