the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
