Please, let me fuck your mom
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
