yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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