How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
