i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
