We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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