Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
