Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
