Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
