Just fell off a train. Bad.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
