wanna go halves on a baby?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
