How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
