he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
