I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
