Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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