do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you made out with another girl for some wings
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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