I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
