We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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