One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
