How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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