Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
