this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
